PART 5:
alright, i thought of includin this section in my blog for more than an year.
this is an fascinating collection from my mobile. ever since i started having a mobile i get a lot of messages from my friends. i kept them in my computer even i changed my mobile a number of times.
when someone gets my mobile they usually go to my inbox and laugh their way .
Most of the following material might have some profanity. but forgive me, this is the age for all these shit.
i have included some Mr.Bush jokes too.----
If you donot understand something, then leave it to ma local folks.
DISCALIMER : THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL IS EXPLICIT, READ AT OWN RISK. HAD YOU READ THIS, YOU ARE NOT GOOD NOMORE.
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2 Bush went to rob a bank without guns. Still they robbed!
How?
manager was also Bush.
He told ''No problem, i trust you, you can show the gun tomorrow".
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once Bush was standing infront of the mirror wit his eyes closed....
WIFE: wat are u doihg ?......
BUSH: i'm jus lookin how i look while sleeping
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a Bush falls in love wit a nurse.....
he planned to express his love in a letter..
he thinks of writing a love letter...
he thinks.....
.....................thinks ....
at last writes " i love u sister"
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a Bushji saved 6 men out of 25 from a burning house..
still he was jailed.....
why ??
coz all the six men he pulled out were firemen
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try to understand me and don disturb me anymore..
last night i didn sleep thinking of u...
so, don play wit my life please,,,
....... Bush talking to mosquito..
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hi can u lend me 10000 rupees, i'll giv it to u within this week........
please don reject me..
i know that h hav..
please lend me ....
....... Bush talking to ATM machine
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HOTEL OWNER : sir u are getting parcels daily from our hotel, why cant u eat ut here itself??
BUSH : sorry sir ,the doctor has
advised me not to eat in hotels......
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Bush was travelling in train,.........
a women sat on his child's berth ..and she never stood up..
Bush shouted " this lady is not giving BIRTH to my baby".....
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Bush built two swimming pools.........
and left one of them unfilled with water.....
when one man asked why has he done like that.....
he said "one thats for those who dont know swimming".......
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Bush in a bus stop....
A RIDER : sir, do u want lift...
BUSH :sorry ya, my home is in ground floor only.....
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2 Bushs were fixing bomb in a car..
BUSH1 : what would we do if one of the bomb explodes... when we are fixing it.
BUSH2 : u dont worry i have got an another one.....
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BUSH1 : why are u crying ????
BUSH2: they cut my fingers for blood test....
BUSH1 :oh ! GOD !!!!
i have come here for urine test...
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BUSH1 : i saw my wife going to movie wit the watchman..
BUSH2 : this s unfaithful.... what u did //????
did u follow them ??
BUSH1 : no no i have already seen that movie....
BUSH2 : you did right .... elz u could have wastely exhausted ur money..
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19 Bushs wentout for a movie.....
on seeing this a man asked them why they came in such a large group..
for that one of the Bush replied
"this film s only for those above 18 "
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INTERVIEWER : just imagine that you are in the third floor....
if it got fire , what will you do ???
BUSH : very simple sir,, i will stop my imagination..
girlfriend of Bush removed all her dress...
and asked Bush to treat her as his wife...
do you know what Bush did ...??
he took alll her clothes and began to wash them...
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TEACHER : why are you late to college ???
BUSH : i saw a board in front of the college.....
TEACHER : what board ???
BUSH : "" College Zone _ go slow ""
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a teacher was teaching grammer....
after teaching...
she asked Bush to say a COMPOUND sentence..
Bush said "" STICK NO BILLS """..........
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a Bush watching TV suddenly got up.......
and searched the whole house for some reason...
made a big mess......
and finally startes scratching his head..
WIfe asked " why dis you do like this??"
BUSH said " oye ! there is some secret camera in our house..
else how the TV guy could correctly day that
"you are watching HBO ' "......
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Bush complained to police...
" sir all items im my home are missing
exept my TV "
POLICE : why the thief didn take the TV ???
BUSH :: because i was watching it .........
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BUSH :: bless me god...
my son is a gambler....
my daughter is a drug addict...
my wife is a drunkard.....
GOD :: isn't there any positive thing in your life ???!!!
BUSH :: yes, i'm HIV positive....
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BUSH 1 : hey, Do you know...
BUSH 2 : what ???
BUSH 1: one day i saw a beautiful lady in the park...
she took me to a lonely place in the park in her bycycle...
BUSH 2: what happeened , next ??
BUSH 1: then , she removed all her dresses...
and asked me to take whatever from her...
BUSH 2:what you did ??
BUSH 1 : i took her bicycle...
BUSH 2: ya, you did right, her clothes wont fit you.......
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two Bushs laughing behind an ATM machine....
BUSH 1: ha ha , i have seen your password..!!
BUSH 2: okay, tell me whats it ??
BUSH 1: its four stars "****"
Bush 2 :no, you are wrong, its "4564".......
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BUSH : i need curtains for my computer....
COMPUTER DEALER :why ??
BUSH : oyee !!
i have got WINDOWS installed in my computer yesterdey.....
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TEACHER : oxygen was discovered in 1823...
BUSH : thank god, i was born after that,
else i would not have survived...
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Bush asked to a lady.....
what is ur friends new cars name..???
LADY :i don know ..
but it starts with "T"
BUSH :he is very very lucky...
my car starts with " Petrol "....
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Bushji fixed his marriage on 2nd march.........
he sent invitation to his friends like this....
"marriage is in 2nd march,
please come on 1st night......
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once Bush got some tablets....
and he began cutting the sides of the tablet....
do u know why he cut the sides of the tablet ????......
coz he wanted to avoid the side effects...
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once Bush threat by lightning.....
and now he goes to " hell "
in the hell a man stares at him and askes.....
MAN : why have you died by laughing..??
BUSH : i thought some one was taking a photograph of me...
so, i gave a smiling pose........
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BUSH : doctor, every bone in my body..
are broken...
DOCTOR : impossible......
BUSH : no, doctor.....
where ever i touch,
i scream in pain..........
DOcTOR : you dirty ass, its not every bone in your body, thats broken......
its your finger... that had broken......
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DOCTOR : I'M sorry , sir...
your kidney has failed...............
BUSH : hei,,u dirty doctor..
i never let my kidney to study...
then how could it fail??
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Bush crying.....
MAN : Bushji, why are you crying ??......
BUSHJI : my mom died..
MAN : okay , dont feel, for it......
thats nature....
then after a phone call , Bush cried louder......
MAN : hey , Bush, what happened now.??
BUSH : my sister phoned me.........
her mom too died it seems.....
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M.D : i will give you, job as a driver......
your starting salary salary will be rs.3000.
BUSH : oh !! great boss,
starting salary is okay....
how much is my driving salary.
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a train suddenly slips into a crop field......
stumbles and suddenly stops.....
the driver is Bushji.......
PASSENGERS : are u blind...????
how did the train slipped into the field ???
BUSH : a man was walking on the tracks....
PASSENGERS : for one man you endangered so many lives....
you must have smashed him..
BUSH : ya , i was trying to do that
but he ran into the fields....
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a Bushfor an exam had studied only one essay..."FRIEND"
but in the question paper the essay that was asked was "FATHER"
so, he just replaced "FATHER" in place of "FRIEND "....
and he wrote like this.....
" i'm a very fatherly person..
i have many fathers...
some of my fathers are male... and some are female..
my true father is my neighbour"
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Bush bunked office......
and went home
he saw his wife with his boss...
suddenly he got back and retreated to the office... and said..
" oh ! god ,, great escape, else my boss would have seen me "
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what is the extreme limit of Bushism ???
two Bushs sitting in an auto rickshaw...
and fighting for the window seat..
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2 Bushs looking at an egyptian mummy....
BUSH 1: look so many bandages..
pakka lorry accident....
BUSH 2 :hey you see that,
the lorry number is also written..
BC 489....
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BUSH : my son has swallowed a key...
DOCTOR : when ?
BUSH : before 3 months....
DOCTOR : you fool ,
what have you been doing for the past days ??
BUSH : till now we are using an alternate key..
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Manager: You are appointed..!
Your salary is Rs.10, 000/- and it’ll be 20,000/- next year.
Bush: ok! I’ll join next year…!
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A Bush (photographer) focusing a dead body!
Sudenly all relatives started beatinb him!
do you know why?
he said "Smile please..."
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