PART 3:
alright, i thought of includin this section in my blog for more than an year.
this is an fascinating collection from my mobile. ever since i started having a mobile i get a lot of messages from my friends. i kept them in my computer even i changed my mobile a number of times.
when someone gets my mobile they usually go to my inbox and laugh their way .
Most of the following material might have some profanity. but forgive me, this is the age for all these shit.
i have included some Mr.Bush jokes too.----
If you donot understand something, then leave it to ma local folks.
DISCALIMER : THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL IS EXPLICIT, READ AT OWN RISK. HAD YOU READ THIS, YOU ARE NOT GOOD NOMORE.
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A man tried 2 break a ration store queue,but caught& thrown back.He tried 2nd time& caugt thrown back.He got up& said "okay bitches, i wont open the shop today !!!". Gud morn:-).:-).:-)
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------ Fate is like getting raped
If u can't fight, learn to enjoy it.
Work is like a group sex
10 people are behind ur ass to take ur place.
Education is like hiring a prostitute.
It needs both money & hard work.
Success is like masturbation.
Only ur own hand can let u achieve it......
Sexy dreams.
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------ Q:What is your idea of horror scene?
Ans:- When you are having sex with a pregnant woman and SUDDENLY a hand holds your penis from inside..
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------ Girl 2 Saint: Can i c d future?
Saint: Gt nakd & bend & he startd oiling her ass..
Girl: It feels u're going 2 fuck me.
Saint: see Now u're startin 2 c d future.. hav a sexy nit...
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------ A famous prostitute dies.
At her funeral
a man says,"Atleast now, they will b together."
Other man asked,"R u talking about her husband?"
No...!
her LEGS.!!....
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------ GIRL-Xcuse me brother, thats' my seat.
BOY-Ok! But I'm nt ur brother, my father nvr fuckd ur mom.
GIRL-True, but my father did !
Moral: NEVER ACT OVER SMART..
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------ Dad brought Robot which slaps a person who lies!
Dad-Son, where were u?
Son-School!
Robot slaps.
S-Film.
D-Which one?
S-Sai Baba!
Robot slaps again!
S-Blue film.
D-What?! I have never seen such films.
Robot slaps dad.
Mom 2 dad-Forgive him dear, after al he is ur son.
Robot slaps mom!
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----- Who is the true music lover?
Ans: A girl is singing in a bathroom while taking bath & a boy near the keyhole is using his ears and not his eyes.!!!
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----- An Indian girl maried a Spanish man n went 2 Spain. She dn't knw Spanish. If she wntd 2 buy leg piece of chicken she wud lift her skirt n show her leg. n this went on 4 some time. One day she wanted 2 buy banana. She took her husband 2 shop, u no why?
.
.
Because he know spanish. Dont think negatively...
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----- There s a clock in heaven, everytime u lie, its hand moves.
Harichandra's never moved.:-O
Dharmaraya's moved once.:-O And God s using urs as a ceiling fan!!! Ha ha:-P:-P:-Pkeep smiling...Good mornin. Hav a great day:-*
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----- Priest was rubbing Nun's thigh.
Nun: "Plz read Bible's verse 89."
Priest gets ashamed, apologises, goes home reads verse 89.
It said: GO HIGHER TO FIND GLORY!
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----- Marriage is
lik
going to a
Restaurant...
U order
Your choice
from
the menu,
and then
look at the
neighbouring table and wish
"SHIT! I SHOULD HAVE ORDERED THAT
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----- Love is not measured by kissing hugging &sex
It's al abt trusting respecting &accepting a person with
open legs,closed eyes&wet lips saying
PUSH IT MORE...
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----- A 65 year old man went for sperm count. Doctor gave bottle to collect sperm. Next day man returned with a empty bottle & told that he tried with left hand then with right hand.
Then his wife tried with left hand, right hand,
Then his daughter-in-law tried with both hands, and also with her mouth.
Then his neighbours tried same way...
But,
all could not open the
" BOTTLE CAP"
But i like the way u think..
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----- BUSH givin speech 2 deaf people,
rubs chest,
touches dick & starts masturbatin
Wen askd he says"It means- Ladies & Gentlemen it gives me gr8 pleasure".
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----- Maid cleaning bed room found a used condom and kept looking at it . madam asked don't u have sex in village "yes we do but not till the skin drops off "
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----- Sardar1:My wife is afraid of water.
Sardar2:How do u know?
Sardar1: Last nite when I returned home,she was in the bath tub with our security guard...:-)
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----- Teacher:why did u laugh?
Boy:I saw 1 strap of ur bra
' Teacher:GET OUT of class for 1 week
2nd boy laughed
Teacher:why did u laugh?
Boy:I saw both straps
Teacher:GET OUT FOR 1 MONTH She bent down 2 take chalk, litle Jony startd walkin out.
Teacher:Jony, why r u goin out?
Jony- what i just saw.. I think my scool days r ovr.
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----- brides dad gave a note to groom before marriage " GOODS DELIVERED R NOT RETURNABLE"groom gave another note back t father "CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN"
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----- Man Teases his ex-wife's
new husband:
So dude, how is the second-hand stuff?
New husband: Not bad. After the first 3 inches, she's Brand New ! ;-)
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------ little dog:
mama , whos my dad??
Mother dog:
he was at my back even at the last minute workin hard, how do you see a person if he's works at the back ?
little dog: mama !!
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----- 3 male pencil and 1 female pencil are in a pencil box...
If the female is pregnant who is responsible for her pregnancy ??
Ans - the pencil without the rubber.
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----- Teacher: explain responsibility with example?
Students: madam your blouse has four buttons if three break down entire responsibility will be on the fourth button.
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----- Girl enters a sex shop...
Girl:Where is the vibrator section?
Clerk:Over there mam..
Girl:How much this big red one?
Clerk:Sory mam that's a fire extinguisher..
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----- Girl asked dog how can u give so many puppies, tat also so many different colours, how is it possible?
Dog says "u walk on road naked then u will know" .
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----- An elephant was starring at a naked man . Man asks d elephant y r u starring at me likr this..
Elephant: am wonderin hw cn u breathe wid dat little thing... ;-)
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----- Physics Teacher
proposes 2
Chemistry Teacher:
When I Saw UR
Conical Jars,
My Pendulum Has
Started Oscillating!
ChmstryTechr
Happyly:dont talk! I need Solution!
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------ Wife s satisfied wit sex life.But husband always fucks her in dark.So 1day she switched on light n was shocked 2 find her husband usin a carrot 2 fuck her.
Angrily she asks:were u fuckin me lik dis from beginnin?
Hus:ya
wif: u cheatin bastard!
Hus:who s a cheat?1st giv explanation for our children!
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----- Girl is the Best Vehicle in the world. Front 2Bumpers, back 2Bumpers!
Self lubricant When Hot! Finger Touch Ignition.
Monthly Automatic Engine Oil Change!
Every Type of Piston Fits! Highest Mileage of 10 months in just 2ml...
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