PART 4:
alright, i thought of includin this section in my blog for more than an year.
this is an fascinating collection from my mobile. ever since i started having a mobile i get a lot of messages from my friends. i kept them in my computer even i changed my mobile a number of times.
when someone gets my mobile they usually go to my inbox and laugh their way .
Most of the following material might have some profanity. but forgive me, this is the age for all these shit.
i have included some Mr.Bush jokes too.----
If you donot understand something, then leave it to ma local folks.
DISCALIMER : THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL IS EXPLICIT, READ AT OWN RISK. HAD YOU READ THIS, YOU ARE NOT GOOD NOMORE.
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----- Man:I want condom
Salesgirl:May I hold ur penis 4 size?
Man:Sure
S-girl:Give him a L!
Wait give him XL
Wait give him XXL
Oh,SHIT
Give me Tissue Paper..
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---- Why was BUSH arrested in the political rally? Bcoz he saw a journalist girl with a badge on her chest written 'PRESS' and the rest happened as u think...!
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----- A human can hold his breath 4 a min.
Aftr tht his lungs go weak,his blood circulation reduces&eventually he dies.So hav mercy on othrs.
USE DEODORANTS
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---- Tis sms is rated no7 in d top sexmsgs in US last yr. Read at own risk. Sucking pusy s dangerous 2 health coz it contains
1)10% urine
2)10% period blood 3)10% shit
4)10% tampon debris
5)10% dried cum 6)10% other guys spoof
7)10% sweat
8)10% dirt
9)10% foul smell
Its only 10% safe.
but 100% njoymnt..
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---- A small argument between couple turns violent. The angry husband says, "dont let the animal in mé come out". Wife replies, "who s scared f a mouse" :-)
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----- Boy:shal i kiss you?
Girl:no, my lipstick will be wiped off!
B:shal i massage your breasts?
G:no, my Tee shirt will get wrinkles!
B:shall i fuck you?
G:no, Period time!
B:i will ask you a final thing, dont say that you got LOSSE MOTION or DYSENTRY. !!!
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---- A tiger was giving wedding party to his friends.A cat came there, and danced. tiger asked who are u? cat said i was also a tiger before my marriage.
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----- A man was carying 3 babies in a train.
Lady sitting next asked: R they ur babies?
MAN:No i'm working in a condom factory & these r CUSTOMER COMPLAINTS!
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------ Failure is not.. When your girlfriend leaves you... It's only when.. You let her go VIRGIN...!
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---- Girl1: i made a mistake by marrying a petrol shop boy
Girl 2: why?what happened?
G1:after putting the thing inside, he asked me 1 liter ir 2 liter. just to kid i told him 1 liter.
G2: then what happened?
G1: fucker, he pondered a while and informing me that 25ml oil and 975ml pertrol. he pissed inside mine.
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------ Doctor: u r looking like my third wife...
Lady: how many wives r u having?
Doctor: two...!!!
Xpress
ideas smartly...
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---- We lift those who are going down,
we bring them closer who are going apart..
We are not
SOCIAL WORKERS.
We are.........
BRA
Manufacturers !
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----- Wife in sexy mood lovingly offers:
I want to have a wild experience. Tie me up & do whatever you want..
Excited husband ties her up & rapes the maid.
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----- Girls prayed 2 God y don't u make boys penis more beautiful.
God:No way, though i made it ugly u suck it. If i made beautiful u'll eat it...!!
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----- In Cinema Theatre.
BOY:lets go to the corner seat.
GIRL:will you kiss me?
BOY:No
GIRL:will you do pom-pom in my pockets?
BOY:No
GIRL:will you insert your finger in my panty?
BOY:No
GIRL:Errrr!! will you fuck me?
BOY:No
GIRL:Goddamn, then for what the fuck you brought me to the corner seat.
----- by "what is sex ?"" kids.
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----- A few quotes on girls t-shirt..
*''there's a face above this...Don't forget..!!''
*"Objects here appear bigger than they are..!"
*"ahhh..!
I made u look at it!"
*"FCK..
All tat is missing is U !"
*"dont try to find sun here..
Its not mountain!"
*"this one is really tough for Edmund Hillary!
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----- Elephant to camel: Why do u've boobs on ur back?
Camel: That's a fucking good question from someone with a penis on his face...!
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------- Newtons 9th Law of motion :-:
Every soul has a pole or a hole..
Wen the pole goes into the hole,
a new soul comes out of the hole
either wit a pole or a hole.
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-------- 1 more AIDS awareness slogan.,
'Either use 1st HAND or JUST HAND, but never go 4 d 2nd or 3rd HAND which u get near bus stand! ;-)
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----- Height of shame. :
Running with an erect pennis towards a wall and breaking the nose first...
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----- Read carefully:
She offered him honour. He honoured her offer & Then - the whole night, In honour of her offer, He was, "Onher & Offher"
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----- height of confidence :
10 boys decided 2 pick up a college girl. 9 boys came with rose. 1boy cme wth rose &condom.That is confidence.
so be that one boy..
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------- Take this stress test.. By answering these 2 q's...
1. Which mouse has two legs?
.
.
.
.
.
.
Mickey mouse!
2. Which duck has 2 legs?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
If u answered Donald duck
-U r under stress...
BeCause
All ducks have 2 legs!
so chill out..
B cool always..
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----- Cool Fundas of Life:
1)Money is not everything. There's mastercard & Visa.
2)One should love animals. They are so tasty.
3)Save water. Drink wine
4)Love ur neighbour. But don't get caught with their parents.
5)Every one should marry b'coz happiness is not the only thing in life.
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----- How do u tel ur Girlfrnd if u wan 2 go 2 toilet during Dinner Date?
"Darling,I hav 2 shake hands wit a close frnd of mine whom I'm going 2 introduce 2 u later".
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----- Great personalities like us operate on d principle of rocket science....
ie..
Until n unless our ass is on fire,v dont work seriousLy..;)
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----- Thought for Life :
We all love to spend lots of money for buying new clothes but never realise that best times r enjoyed without clothes - swami gilmananda..
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------ When i used to go for marriages old people usd to pull my cheeks and say "u r next"
they stoppd doing it whn i did d
same 2 them at funerals.
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------ Gandhi had sex with Nayanthara using condoms but Nayanthara get pregnant,she said 2 Gandhi,"U Rascal How Many Times I Told U Dont Use Kadar Condoms"...
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------ SHAKILA's poem:
my breasts are like paper.people who crushed it are more than the people who tried some writing on it.
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